Trial and Error
by DarkandtwistyGirl
Summary: In the blink of an eye everything changes for the staff of Seattle Grace when the clinical trial goes wrong, and Derek and Meredith become the subject of a violent protest group. Warning: Death fic. Hurt and angst abounds! *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

First attempt at fanfic, please be kind.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

"Come on baby boy; let's go see your Mama and Auntie Izzie." Lexie says in a baby talk voice as she picks up the crying infant from his crib. She then grabs her handbag and keys, walks out to her car, and drives over to Seattle Grace.

As she walks through the hospital several people come over to her, look at the baby. One of those people is Dr Bailey, who is standing at the main desk when Lexie walks past. "Grey." She calls out to get her attention, Lexie turns around, and walks over to her.

"Good morning Dr Bailey, I'm just taking DJ upstairs to visit Mere and Izzie."

"Morning Lexie, how are you and Derek Jr going? It's not easy at first, is it? No sleep, constant crying, not to mention everything that happened." Miranda shuddered at the memory of why baby DJ was living with his aunt instead of his parents.

"He's been really good actually, better than I expected at least." She had been surprised when on his first night home he had only woken up twice, and in the weeks since he has only gotten better. Then she got onto her 'favorite' subject. "So million dollar question, any idea on when Meredith is being released?"

"At least another week. I spoke to her physical therapist earlier, he says that she's doing well, getting around better, and regaining her strength."

"Good, I really should get up there. I promised Meredith some time with him before physio. I'll see you around." Lexie takes hold of her infant nephew's hand, and gently waves it at Bailey. "Say bye bye baby." Lexie baby talks to him, making Bailey laugh softly.

Lexie continues up to Meredith's room, when she enters the room Meredith is sitting on the side of the bed, adjusting the two pieces of metal that have essentially replaced her legs. "Morning Mere. Look who's here to see you." Lexie sits down beside Meredith, and hands DJ to her.

"Hello my beautiful baby." Meredith says as she cradles her young son in her arms, he's a perfect miniature of Derek, sparkling grey eyes, and soft black hair. She doesn't take her eyes off DJ as she speaks to Lexie. "He really is amazing, isn't he Lex?"

"He is Mere." Lexie says as she looks at her baby nephew. She then turns to Meredith. "How are you doing today?"

"I was just about to go down to physio." She pauses. "Are you coming with me?"

"Sure, but you know that's not what I meant, how are you doing?"

"It's hard, but I'm doing fine. Take DJ so I can stand up." Meredith hands DJ back to Lexie, and reaches for her walking frame. As she pulls herself upright Lexie moves to her side.

"Mere, you're not fine. No one is fine after what you've been through, what we've been through. Derek died, George died, Alex might as well be dead, Izzie's stuck in a wheelchair, you're..." she motions to Meredith's prosthetic legs "...this, and I'll always have scars. No one is fine Mere." Meredith starts to sob; Lexie helps her sit back down on the bed.

"I just...it was my fault...I shouldn't have started it...it's my fault." Lexie gently wraps one arm around her older sister, while holding her nephew with her other arm, they just sit there as Meredith cries. In a twisted way it was Meredith's fault. Some protest group found out about the clinical trial deaths, they had threatened her and Derek for weeks before they planted several explosive charges in Meredith's house. They set them off in the middle of the night, only Lexie managed to get out before the house collapsed.

"Mere, calm down. We can't change what happened, we just have to try to get through this, make the best of this horrible situation. Now let's get you down to physio, otherwise you'll never get home." A minute later Lexie helps Meredith stand back up, and helps her down to the physical therapy ward. When they enter the room they immediately see Izzie sitting in a wheelchair at the back of the room, one of the therapists is helping her do some exercises, they walk over to her.

"Hey Iz." Meredith greets her, quickly taking a seat on a nearby bench, worn out from the effort of using the prosthesis'.

After a moment Izzie looks up at them, her face is streaked with tears. "Hi."

Her therapist Jodie stands up. "I'll give you guys a minute; just call me when you're ready to get back to it." Jodie walks away to assist another patient.

"Can I hold DJ?" Izzie asks as her pain subsides from agonizing to a dull ache.

Lexie hands DJ to her, staying close in case she isn't able to hold him. "Here you go." Lexie helps Izzie position DJ in her weakened arms.

Meredith's therapist Tim walks over to them. "Good morning Meredith, Lexie, Isobel. I see you brought baby Derek in with you today, how's he going?" Tim asked warmly, he had a way of making people feel completely relaxed, even in situations that would probably end up being painful for them.

"He's perfect." Meredith says as she glances at her young son.

"Are you ready to get started Meredith?" Tim enquires.

"As I'll ever be." Tim helps her stand up, and leads her over to a set of parallel bars to begin her session.

A moment later Jodie walks back over to Izzie and Lexie. "Shall we continue now?" Izzie hands DJ back to Lexie, and resumes the painful exercises as instructed by Jodie. Lexie sits quietly watching her sister struggle to walk unaided. Eventually she leaves the room, deciding to go sit with Alex for a while, she owes him that much. If he hadn't pushed her clear of the falling debris she would probably be in a similar situation to the rest of her housemates.

As Lexie enters Alex's room, he has been on life support since that night. They all know he wouldn't have wanted this, but no one can find his family to sign the DNR papers, and none of his 'hospital family' can do it. She sits down in the chair left there by the nurses, and gently takes hold of his hand. "Hey Alex, it's Lexie." She paused for moment, looking down at DJ. "I brought DJ with me, you never got a chance to meet him, but he's Meredith and Dr Sheppard's baby... I can't believe I'm still coming here, I know you can't hear me." Lexie lays her head on the bed beside Alex's hand, and cries heart-brokenly, he shouldn't be stuck here, he could have saved himself, left her inside, but now here she was sitting beside his hospital bed, knowing that he would never recover.

* * *

Should I continue, or not?


	2. Chapter 2

****

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Sorry I had to put this one on hold for a while, life got crazy, believe me I would have much rather been writing! **

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and ever one, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Four Months Earlier

It is about three am, and Lexie is sitting at the kitchen table, sipping from a cup of steaming hot chocolate, when a heavily pregnant Meredith walks into the room, wiping sleep from her eyes. Being seven months pregnant with twins definitely hasn't been easy on her, especially when both her and her fiancé are being constantly bombarded by threatening letters, emails, phone calls; a local protest group had recently found out about the clinical trial deaths, and have been becoming increasingly incessant and violent ever since.

"Hey Lex." Meredith says sleepily as she sits down beside her sister.

"Couldn't sleep Mere?"

"No, every time I can stop thinking about..." Meredith shudders as she remembers the most recent incident, she and Derek had been attacked in the hospital car park, if it wasn't for a couple of security guards... She couldn't even bring herself to think about what would have happened. After taking a deep calming breath Meredith continues. "...Every time I finally get to sleep..." She rubs her stomach gently. "...baby boy here starts kicking me, and swear he's gonna break something if he keeps this up." She then moves her hand to another part of her stomach, and speaks softly to her baby girl. "You are going to have the most protective brother ever; he'll be beating up anyone who gets too close to you."

Lexie laughs softly, cautious not to awaken anyone else in the house. She then changes the subject, and asks. "Have you and Derek decided on names yet?" The exasperated tone in her voice was not lost on Meredith; ever since Meredith had found out she was pregnant, and subsequently told Derek, they had been unable to even agree on one name, let alone two.

"Actually we have..." Meredith takes a moment to enjoy the look of surprise that is painted across her sister's face. "...We decided that, if it was alright by you... we want to name our daughter Susanna Ellis, after your mom, and mine."

Lexie looks at her, stunned. "Seriously?"

"Only if it's alright by you... and Molly. What do you think?"

"Of course it's alright by me, I love it."

"Good." Meredith replies simply, before starting to cry, and muttering. "Damn hormones."

Trying to distract Meredith, Lexie asks. "What's your boy's name? Or is that still undecided?"

"I wanted something more original, but in the end Derek won; he wants his first son to have his name... Derek Joseph Jr, DJ... You like?"

"Doctor Shepard's middle name is Joseph?"

Meredith nods, now fighting tears and laughter.

Lexie starts laughing too. A minute later they both manage to compose themselves. "I really do like the names Mere. Perfect names for undoubtedly perfect children."

They continue to chat for a while longer before Meredith finally stands up, and moves towards the staircase. "I'm gonna head back to bed, I've got work tomorrow."

"Alright, see you in the morning." Lexie says as she too stands up, but instead of heading upstairs as her sister has, Lexie goes back over to the couch, where she and Alex fell asleep watching a movie earlier.

She has just gotten herself back to sleep, settled back against Alex when they are both harshly awakened by an earth shattering explosion, quickly followed by three more.

Alex pulls Lexie to her feet as the house creaks and groans around them. "We've gotta get out, now!"

Lexie hesitates. "But, what about everyone else?! We can't leave them!"

Hearing something, most likely a support beam snap above them, Alex stops trying to reason with Lexie, and half drags her towards the door, avoiding large chunks of rubble as they go.

As they reach the doorway, the second floor of the house plummets downwards, straight towards them. Without a second thought Alex wrenches open the door, and pushes Lexie clear of the falling debris.

Now outside, facing away from the rubble, Lexie shakily stands up, and before she can do anything she hears a rumble from deep within the remains of the house, moments later another explosion tears through the rubble, and sends waves of fire out of all remaining windows and doors.

Lexie falls to the ground, her back has been badly burned, but that doesn't even cross her mind as darkness surrounds her all she can think of is her friends, her family. _Please let them make it out of there. Oh god, please let them be alright._

* * *

Almost thirty minutes later, Miranda Bailey is standing alongside Christina, Dr Webber, Dr Sloan, Dr Torres, Dr Hahn, and a number of other doctors and nurses in the ambulance bay. They're waiting for the incoming ambulances from 'an explosion at a suburban house'. No one has any idea that it was Meredith's house, or that in mere minutes they will be fighting to save their friends and coworkers lives.

Christina is practically jumping for joy at the prospect of multiple severe injuries; so many surgeries. "What ETA did dispatch give? Shouldn't they be rolling in by now?"

Bailey is quick to answer. "First one should be here any minute; rescue's still searching for other survivors."

No sooner than the words have left her mouth does the first ambulance speed into the bay.

"Here we go." Christina says eagerly.

"Here we go." Bailey repeats, far more subdued.

Bailey pulls open the back doors of the ambulance, and assists the paramedics in lifting the gurney out of the back. "What've we got?" She asks one of the paramedics, Mary.

"Mid-twenties, Jane Doe, found unconscious on the front lawn. Probable second and third degree burns to her back, arms, and legs..." Mary reads off along with vitals, and a list of medications. She then adds. "She looks kinda familiar."

"Sloan, we'll need you over here." Bailey calls out as they move the gurney into a trauma room.

After they've transferred Lexie, still face down onto the bed in the trauma room, Bailey moves to the head of the bed, and leans over slightly to take a look at their patient's face. When she looks down she does a quick double take. "Yang, get over here."

Christina moves to Bailey's side, and follows her glance down to the patient. "Grey?!"

"She's one of yours, right?" Bailey questions.

"Yeah. She's Meredith's sister, Lexie Grey." A moment later Christina has a thought. "Oh god." She murmurs.

Bailey, along with several nurses who are in the room turn to see what is wrong. Sloan and the majority of the nurses stays focused on caring for Lexie. "Yang, you alright?" Bailey asks quietly.

"Lexie's been staying at Mere's house... what if..." Christina can't bring herself to finish her question.

"Go find the Chief, tell him to get in touch with search and rescue... Find out if it was Grey's house, and if they've found anyone else." Bailey orders Christina, knowing she won't be able to focus until she knows.

Christina rushes from the room, almost running into Dr Webber just outside the door. "Dr Yang, how's the patient?"

"Lexie."

"What?" The chief asks, confused.

"The patient... It's Lexie Grey."

Webber runs his hand through his short hair. "She lives with Derek, Meredith, and some of the other residents, right?"

"Yes, Dr Bailey asked me to have you contact search and rescue, find out about the others."

"I'll do that now, you go back in there, and help out."

"Yes sir." Christina replies, hurrying back into the trauma room.

When she reaches the bed, Christina notices that Lexie's eyes are half open, following her as she moves. "Dr Grey? Lexie, are you with us?"

Lexie coughs weakly, her throat raw and dry. Christina gives her a couple of ice chips. "W...where?" Lexie whispers hoarsely.

"You're at Seattle Grace, in a trauma room. We're taking care of you."

"Mere? Alex? George? Are they..."

"Search and rescue are still looking, I'll let you know as soon as they are found.

"Mmhhmm." Lexie mumbles.

* * *

An hour later two more ambulances pull up, by this time Dr Webber has called in Addison to look after Meredith, she has arrived, and is standing with the other doctors waiting for the ambulances holding Meredith and Alex to open.

When the ambulance holding Alex opens, Dr Hahn, Dr Webber, and several other doctors and nurses rush him into an available trauma room. Addison is shocked when she sees blood running from his ears, and mouth. She quickly calls out to Dr Webber. "How bad?"

"Probable brain injury, massive internal injuries. Bad."

Cursing under her breath, Addison hurries over to the second ambulance. She had been reluctant to fly out to take care of Meredith and Derek's babies, but once she heard of the severity of the situation she was on the helicopter in minutes.

With Callie by her side Addison reaches the ambulance. "How's she doing?"

"Severe crush injuries to her legs, she was conscious and alert, but we had to sedate her to extricate..."

Once the paramedic finishes speaking, Addison asks. "Any signs of feotal distress?"

"She was hit in the stomach by a support beam, but the feotal heart rate is steady, and she could feel it kicking before we sedated her."

"Both? You said heart rate, you mean rates, right?" Callie questions worriedly.

"What?"

"She's having twins." Addison clarifies before starting to shout out orders, and move the gurney inside.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! **

**Let me know if there's something you want to see happen, I try to work all suggestions into my stories.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Here's the next chapter, fast tracked to you. (Planned to update each of my stories equally, but I was on a roll writing this one)**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one of your kind words, so please keep them coming. (And to a certain person - I am not sick, a lot of people only post drama, tragedy, and medical stories. If you don't like what I write then stop reading it!)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Several minutes later while Callie examines Meredith's severely damaged legs, Addison is setting up to do an ultrasound. The tension in the room is practically palpable, everyone expects the ultrasound to show that at least one of the babies has died, and that is putting them all on edge.

Thankfully Meredith is still under the effects of the sedation, and is unaware of her current situation.

Addison squirts some gel onto Meredith's swollen belly, and then places the ultrasound probe over the gel, after a moment the sound of a baby's heartbeat fills the room. "Okay, there's baby A... strong heartbeat, he's moving around, no signs of trauma."

"What about the second baby? Is it alive?" Callie questions, briefly looking up from applying bandages and splints to Meredith's legs to try and avoid further blood loss.

Addison moves the probe to another point on Meredith's stomach. "Hold on, I'm checking now..." Everyone waits for close to a minute with baited breath, then a slightly different heartbeat echoes through the room. Addison lets out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, and then says "she's still alive... but there's trauma to the upper and lower torso."

"But the medics could only find one heartbeat, how...?" One nurse asks, confused.

"They were only looking for one, and this one's weaker than the other."

"Can you save her?" Callie asks, fighting back tears at the thought of Meredith losing her baby girl.

Addison is quiet for a moment, thinking. "Maybe... I can try to treat baby B's injuries using fetal surgery, I'll perform a c-section, partially deliver baby B, operate on any and all injuries I can find, put her back into the uterus, and close up; try to buy here another month or two to develop, she'll probably end up being born prematurely anyway."

"What about the other baby?"

"It'll hopefully be unaffected, otherwise I might have to deliver him, and he'll go up to the NICU." Addison says, before questioning. "How are you going to proceed Dr Torres? Can you repair the damage?"

Callie looks up at Addison gravely. "I'll try, but... There's so much damage... I might not have a choice."

Within minutes Addison and Callie are following the gurney carrying Meredith towards the ORs.

* * *

Over four hours later, almost sunrise. Dr Webber, Bailey, Christina, and Mark are standing back in the ambulance bay. They're waiting for two more ambulances, one holding Izzie, and the other holding Derek, both are said to be in critical condition.

"What do we know?" Dr Webber asks Bailey, who took the dispatch call.

"Stevens was found under debris, she has a possible cord injury, concussion, and multiple lacs. Dr Shepard has sustained burns to over ninety percent of his body, and a severe head injury; he's intubated, deeply comatose." Bailey informs them with sorrow in her voice.

Shocked, Mark brings his hand to his mouth, he knows that there's no way his best friend will survive.

After a moment Christina asks. "Anyone heard anything about how Mere, Alex, and Lexie are doing?"

Dr Webber is the first to absorb the question, and be able to answer. "Addi and Torres have Meredith in surgery; last I heard she and the babies were stable. Karev is out of surgery, and neuro have taken him up to the ICU; he's stable, but there's no sign of brain activity, the nurses are trying to locate his family. And Lexie is up in the burn ward, she should recover quickly, there'll be scars though."

Everyone stands in silence, unsure of what to say.

* * *

Several minutes later an ambulance comes to an abrupt halt, causing everyone to jump to action. Mark pulls open the back doors of the ambulance, and upon seeing the burn sheet covering the majority of the person on the gurney he immediately knows it's Derek.

The paramedic leaning over Derek's prone form looks to Mark, and Dr Webber, Bailey, and Christina, who have now gathered outside the doors. "Got a bad one for you. Ninety percent third degree, left pupil's blown, found under 'bout ten feet of debris. Only thing he's good for now's letting your stupid interns practice. Enjoy." If anything she sounds happy about the situation, clearly not knowing who her patient is.

Mark briskly, but gently pulls the gurney out, and with Dr Webber's assistance begins wheeling it towards the entrance doors. He briefly turns back to look at the paramedic. "Thanks. We'll take it from here... and for future reference, don't make stupid, downright insulting remarks unless you know who you're talking about, who you're hurting."

Once they're inside, the paramedic looks to Bailey, and asks. "What was that 'bout? It's true."

Unable to help herself, Bailey raises her hand, and hits the paramedic across the face, hard. "You're patient's our head of neurosurgery, Dr Shepard. He's Dr Sloan's best friend... have been since they were kids." Bailey says angrily, staring down the paramedic until she darts back into the ambulance, and retreats hastily, practically tail between her legs.

Bailey has no time to consider her small victory against the arrogant paramedic, because at that moment another ambulance pulls up.

By the time Bailey and Christina reach the ambulance the paramedics have already unloaded the gurney. Bailey goes straight to the head of the gurney, and looks down to the patient. "Stevens? You with us?"

After a moment, Izzie focuses on Bailey. "Doctor Bailey? ...What? ...Where's George? He was right 'side me."

Bailey looks up at Christina. "Get her inside, page neuro."

Once they've left, Bailey asks the paramedics. "There was one more guy, George O'Malley. Did you find him?"

One paramedic steps forward slightly, and hesitantly says "One we just brought in was found under another person, late twenties white male, is that-"

"Where is he?!" Bailey demands.

"...He was DOA, probably died instantly in the collapse... only had time to shield our patient before..." The paramedic trails off, sparing them the details.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! Let me know what you want to see next.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one of your kind words, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Present time

Addison enters the NICU, late in the afternoon, and she quickly strides over to one of the cribs. Tia, the nurse standing beside the crib, greets her. "Dr Montgomery."

"Hi, Tia. How's Susie going today? Any changes?" Addison enquires as she opens the crib, and begins to examine Susie Grey-Shepherd.

As she picks up a chart from the stand beside the crib, Tia replies. "She's improving, slowly, but there's definitely improvement. How much longer do you think she'll be here for? Dr Grey asks every time she visits."

"...Another month at least, depending on how she's going." Addison answers, then watching as Susie's tiny fingers wrap tightly around hers.

Tia smiles softly. "She's got a really good grip, doesn't she? Held onto me for almost twenty minutes yesterday before she got tired."

"Really?" Addison asks.

Tia nods as she jots down various details. "And she's gained weight."

Addison kneels down slightly, she's now on the same level as Susie. In a baby voice, Addison says. "That's so good, baby girl. You're getting so big now."

Someone clears their throat behind Addison. She straightens up, turns around, and comes face to face with Dr Webber. "Richard, I was just-"

Dr Webber puts his hand up to stop her. "I can't help myself either, she's just too cute to resist."

"Yeah, she is... now." The condition that she was in when she was born remains unspoken, the memory of her tiny broken body still horribly fresh in their minds.

Remembering the reason for his visit, Richard asks. "So, how's she going?"

"...Uh, good. Last set of scans looked good, and she's getting bigger, stronger. We've even been able to turn down the vent settings, today."

"That's great news." Richard says enthusiastically, his tone then turns somber. "I came to remind you that we're all going out to... Derek's land tomorrow, it's that time again."

On the second Saturday of each month since the explosion, they all go out to Derek's land, where they had had a memorial built, and buried Derek and George, to pay their respects.

Addison turns slightly as she wipes a tear from her eye. "Oh ...I'll be there. I can't believe it's been four months already, it still hurts like it was yesterday."

"Me either... me either." Richard replies, shaking his head in sorrow. After a moments silence, he asks. "How old are the twins now? I was sitting in my office this morning, and I just couldn't remember."

"Three months, give or take a few days."

* * *

The next morning, just before sunrise. Two cars, and a patient transport ambulance, come to a halt on the long gravel driveway leading to the memorial. Richard, his wife Adele, Mark, and Addison step out of the first car, while in the second car, Lexie unbuckles DJ from his carrier, and lifts him out of the car, Callie goes to the boot, and gathers the multiple floral arrangements in there, Christina steps out of the driver's seat, and quickly moves to help Meredith and Izzie out of the ambulance. Now that they are able to get out of bed, they have both been allowed to leave the hospital 'just this once'.

* * *

A minute later they are all gathered at the beginning of the walkway into the memorial. Mark is standing behind Izzie's wheelchair, and Christina has her arm wrapped around Meredith, ready to support her, both physically and emotionally. Everyone else files in behind them as they slowly walk to the memorial, as they reach the garden arch marking the entrance, Christina looks at Meredith. "You sure you're ready for this?"

"...As I'll ever be." Meredith answers through gritted teeth, clearly in pain from her short walk, but determined to stay standing.

They walk under the arch, and the memorial comes into full view. It's a beautiful, traditional English garden, on the cliff-top, the place where only months ago, Meredith had laid out hundreds of candles, essentially symbolizing their new life together. On either side of the garden, there are two stone benches, running parallel, and between the two rests a simple, yet elegant marble headstone, each intricately engraved, one reads:

_In loving memory of_

_Derek Joseph Shepherd, MD_

_25 February 1967 – 14 July 2008_

_He will be deeply missed by fiancé Meredith,_

_children Susanna and Derek,_

_and all of his coworkers and friends._

_His legacy will live on at Seattle Grace._

The other reads:

_In cherished memory of  
_

_George Christopher O'Malley, MD_

_7 March 1979 – 14 July 2008_

_Beloved youngest son of Louise and Harold,_

_and brother of Jerry and Ronny._

_Taken too soon, he will forever be in our hearts._

With Christina's help, Meredith kneels in front of Derek's headstone, and softly runs her fingertips over Derek's name, and crying freely she whispers. "I'm so sorry Der ...I love you."

Though her words are whispered, they all hear them. Christina guides Meredith onto a bench beside the grave, then sits down beside her. "You alright Mere? Do you want to go back?"

Meredith shakes her head weakly, and then leans against Christina, who holds her comfortingly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mark brings Izzie's wheelchair to a stop at the foot of George's grave, the ground is still soft, and so the wheelchair can't go closer. Wordlessly, Mark moves closer to Izzie. He gently scoops her up, carries her to the bench, and then carefully helps her sit down, before sitting beside her, holding her so she doesn't fall. A moment later, Izzie looks up to Mark. "I can't... Please take me home."

Seeing the heartbroken look that is clear in her expression so often now, more than ever, Mark replies. "Of course." And without further pause, picks her back up, carries her back to her wheelchair, and wheels her towards the archway.

As they reach the archway, Adele calls out. "Mark, Isobel, where are you going?"

Turning back around, Mark replies. "I'm going to take Izzie back to the hospital."

Adele kneels down in front of Izzie. "Are you alright dear?"

Sniffling, Izzie says, half lying. "I'm tired."

Turning the wheelchair slightly, preparing to leave, Mark says. "Tell Richard that I'll take Izzie back, then send the transport back for Meredith, okay?"

"Sure, no problem."

Without further hesitation, or distraction, Mark pushes Izzie over to the ambulance, and helps the driver get her inside.

* * *

After allowing everyone a few more peaceful minutes, Richard calls everyone over to where he is standing in a decent sized pergola in the centre of the garden. By this time Callie and Addison have laid out the cut flowers around the pergola, and in vases at each grave, adding to the beauty, and tranquility of the garden.

Once everyone is assembled before him, Richard begins a speech that he has said three times before, only varying the number of months. "Four months ago on this day, we lost Derek, George, and Alex..." He adds Alex, because he would die if it weren't for machines. "And today we are gathered to remember them, and our lives together... Now, let's all take a moment's silence in their memory." Everyone sits, heads bowed slightly, in silence for a minute, and by the time everyone looks up, there aren't any dry eyes in the group.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! Let me know what you think, and what you want to see next.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and every one of your kind words, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

About half an hour later everyone begins moving back towards the cars, going back to their lives for another month. Once everyone except Richard, Meredith, Christina, Lexie, and DJ have left, Christina pushes Meredith's wheelchair up into the transport ambulance. "We'll see you later Mere." Christina says as she steps out of the ambulance.

"Yeah, okay, see you later." Meredith replies, she doesn't notice Christina speaking in hushed tones to the driver.

Once they finish speaking, Christina then closes the ambulance doors, and a moment later the ambulance drives away.

Once the ambulance is out of sight, Richard, Christina, Lexie, and DJ get into the last car, and drive further along the gravel road.

* * *

After several minutes of cautiously driving along a weathered gravel road, Richard brings the car to a stop at the end of the road, in front of a large construction site. He turns off the car, steps out, and moves to help Lexie get DJ out of his seat, and then they all stride over to the site foreman. Richard greets him. "Brett."

Brett turns around, and replies "Doctors, good to see you again."

"You too Brett." Richard says, and then he moves the conversation on to why they are there. "Is everything still on schedule? Do you have time to give us a tour? Just of the house?"

Keen to keep his employers happy, Brett tells him. "We've only got to finish painting the second floor and the entrance. If we keep on track, it'll be done by the time the furniture is delivered next week." He pauses for a moment before suggesting to the small group. "How 'bout that tour?"

Lexie adjusts her hold on DJ as she answers for them. "Sounds good."

"Okay, follow me." Brett replies before striding towards the house.

* * *

Several minutes into the tour, Lexie is walking beside Brett, when he enquires. "How's Dr Grey going? Is she still in hospital?" He had met with Meredith and Derek several times before the explosion; at the time the house had been in the early stages of construction.

"Mere's doing really well, she actually came out here this morning to be at the memorial. Hopefully she'll be discharged this coming week."

Brett looks surprised, and at the same time, slightly nervous. The plan was for the house to be finished when Meredith is released, so that she can move in straight away. "Wow, that soon?"

Lexie nods, then saying. "It's been four months now, and her physio says she's ready. Will the house be finished?"

Brett knows it will be a challenge, but answers. "For sure."

* * *

They finish looking around the sprawling mansion about twenty minutes later, and after saying brief goodbyes to Brett, they walk back over to the car, and as they do, Christina comments. "It's looking pretty good. Mere's gonna be so surprised, the last time she saw it... it was barely a frame."

"She will be." Richard agrees, then adding. "It would still be a frame if Brett hadn't gotten in touch."

"And if we hadn't organized everything." Lexie adds lightly as she straps DJ into his car seat.

"True." Richard agrees as he climbs into the driver's seat, and fastens his belt.

Christina and Lexie quickly follow suit, and within a minute they are on their way back to the hospital.

* * *

Back at the hospital, late that afternoon, Addison pushes a wheelchair into Meredith's room. Meredith is sitting up in a chair by the window, flipping through a magazine. "Grey? You ready to come see Susie?"

Meredith's head instantly rises, and she almost falls over in her haste to stand up.

Luckily Addison catches her, and helps her into the wheelchair. "You've already been up and about for hours today, you'll get hurt if you don't rest." Addison scolds lightly as she moves to start pushing the wheelchair.

"I know, Addison. But if I don't push myself..." Her voice cracks slightly as she continues. "With Derek gone, I have to be able to look after the twins, and how am I supposed to so that if I can't walk?" The tone of desperation and despair in her voice does not go unnoticed by Addison.

Addison stops the wheelchair in the middle of the hallway, puts on the brakes, and moves around to face Meredith. She gently cups Meredith's face with her hand. "You are going to be an amazing mother, even if you aren't able to get around as well as you want to. And don't forget, you've got so many people around you who want to help."

Meredith nods tiredly. "I know, it's just..."

"Hard." Addison supplies when Meredith trails off.

"Yeah... I thought I'd have Derek here with me, that we'd have two healthy babies." Meredith's voice drops down to a whisper as she finishes speaking.

Sensing imminent waterworks, Addison changes the subject. "Let's go see Susie, now."

* * *

A minute later Addison gently brings Meredith's wheelchair to a stop beside Susie's crib. "Here you go."

"Thanks Addison." Meredith replies without taking her eyes off of Susie's tiny body.

Addison decides to leave Meredith alone with her daughter for awhile, and so she walks away quietly.

Meredith carefully places her hand into the crib, and watches with fascination as Susie's miniature fingers curl around her own. "Hi baby, Mummy's here."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! Let me know what you think, and what you want to see next.**


	6. Chapter 6

****

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.

**AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.**

**Thank you to those wonderful few of you who actually reviewed. I really appreciate it, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Meredith stays in the nursery, just watching her tiny baby girl, until late in the evening when the nurses insist that she goes back to her own room.

* * *

When Meredith rounds the corner into her room, she sees Lexie sitting on her bed, talking to Izzie, who is cradling DJ in her arms. "Hi guys ...What are you doing here?" She doesn't mean to be rude, but it's been a long day, and she is tired.

Lexie speaks up. "We just thought we'd stop by. Do you want us to go?"

"No, stay." Meredith says, she then tells them. "I was just up visiting Susie."

"Oh, how's she doing?" Izzie enquires, genuinely interested in her god daughter's progress.

Meredith smiles happily. "She's getting better, Addison thinks she might be able to come home within the month."

"That's so great." Izzie says, she then looks down at DJ, and in a baby talk voice says. "Your sister's going to come home soon, De."

Meredith and Lexie laugh slightly at Izzie's interaction with DJ, it's the only time she's really happy now.

They continue light conversation for a while, and then-

A thought hits Meredith. "Where is home?"

Lexie and Izzie turn to look at her. "What?" Lexie questions.

"Where are you living? Where am I going to live when I get out of here?"

Lexie gives Meredith a look which gives the impression of pure confidence. "I'm staying at a motel. And by the time you get discharged, where you're living will be taken care of."

Meredith is surprised, but lets it go. "But what about you? And Izzie. I can't leave you guys with nowhere to go." She then suggests. "When I get out, we can get a house together; you, me, the kids, and you too of course Izzie."

Lexie listens as Meredith goes on to make plans, all the while keeping quiet about the surprise that awaits Meredith when she leaves the hospital.

* * *

Meredith release date comes and goes without action, she is not ready to go home yet. It is another week after that when Meredith is finally told, by Bailey. "You're ready to go home." She places a file on the bed. "Here are your discharge papers."

* * *

Once Bailey leaves, Meredith calls Lexie to come get her, and while she waits she packs up the assortment of possessions that she has accumulated during her stay.

* * *

Lexie arrives several minutes later, with DJ in tow. "Hey Mere." She greets her half sister cheerfully.

Meredith stands up as she greets Lexie. "Hi Lex."

"Are you ready to go?" Lexie asks her, gathering the bags of stuff as she does so.

"Seriously?" Meredith says sarcastically, looking at Lexie like she's gone mad. "I've been ready to leave since I got here."

"Okay, let's go." Lexie says as she walks towards the doorway, Meredith follows her as quickly as she can.

* * *

Once they are on their way, Lexie hands Meredith a blindfold. "Here, put this on."

Meredith is surprised. "What?"

"I've got a surprise for you. Put on the blindfold." Lexie tells her excitedly, it's almost time for the big reveal.

Taking the bait, Meredith accepts the blindfold, and after a moment's hesitation, puts it on. "What's the surprise?"

"It won't be a surprise if tell you, now, would it?"

Meredith laughs at this.

* * *

They pull up outside the recently completed house about twenty minutes later, as they do, Lexie sees the group of people standing by the front deck. Everything is going to plan.

"We're here." Lexie announces to Meredith, she then instructs. "Keep the blindfold on, I'll come help you out."

Meredith does so, and once Lexie has gotten DJ out of his car seat, she helps Meredith step out of the car, and positions her so that the house will be in perfect view when Meredith takes of the blindfold.

"Okay Mere, take it off." Lexie instructs.

Meredith fumbles for a moment before pulling the blindfold away. As soon as she does so, her jaw drops in shock, and tears well in her eyes. "Lexie, this is..."

Lexie finishes her sentence for her. "The house Derek was building." She then explains. "We arranged for it to be finished for you and the kids."

Wiping a tear from her eye, Meredith whispers. "Oh my god. Thank you Lexie."

"Don't just thank me." Lexie says, motioning towards the crowd. "Everyone helped out."

Meredith murmurs some kind of reply, but it is practically inaudible.

"Do you want to look around?" Lexie asks.

Meredith nods, still too shocked to speak.

Lexie takes Meredith by the arm, and guides her towards the door.

Everyone else follows behind them as they check out the large house.

* * *

A week and a half later, Susie is also discharged from the hospital. Meredith, Lexie, and DJ all go pick her up, and on the way back, by her own insistence, Meredith sits between the two baby carriers, watching as her babies look around in fascination, taking in every new piece of scenery along the way. "I can't believe we're almost home Lex, both the kids will be there, and in another couple of weeks, Izzie will be too. We can be a family, we can try to move past all this."

"Yeah." Lexie agrees, then adding. "It'll be good."

* * *

When Lexie pulls the car to a stop outside their house, Meredith unhooks Susie's carrier, and lifts it out ahead of herself.

As she steps out of the car, Meredith looks down at Susie, and says. "Welcome home sweetheart."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review! Sorry it's so mushy at the end of this one, I couldn't help it.**

**Anyways, please let me know what you think, and what you want to see next. It helps me write a lot faster.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**Thank you to those wonderful few of you who actually reviewed. I really appreciate it, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Late that night, Lexie is shutting the house up for the night when she hears crying coming from Meredith's room, she knocks lightly on the door, and then enters. Meredith is curled up on the bed, sobbing into her pillow, dressed in a shirt of Derek's that she'd retrieved from his locker.

Lexie moves quickly over to the bed, and sits beside her distraught sister. "Oh Mere. What's wrong?"

Meredith lifts her head away from the pillow, as replies in a choked voice. "I miss him, Lexie." She coughs; her throat is raw from crying. "He should have been here today. We should have brought our babies home together."

Lexie strokes Meredith's hair soothingly. "I know Mere, it isn't fair."

"Why did they do this to us?" Meredith questions angrily, referring to the protestors.

"I don't know Mere." Lexie says sympathetically as Meredith's sobs increase in volume, and all she can do is keep her company until she falls asleep.

* * *

It is almost a week later when the phone rings while Lexie is making breakfast. She stops what she's doing, and answers. "Hello."

"Hello." The voice on the other end replies. "Is Ms Grey available to speak?"

"This is she." Lexie says, she has given up on asking whether they want her or Meredith.

"This is Detective Rayes, from the Seattle Police Department. We have some news for you."

"What is it?" Lexie asks tiredly. Susie kept her up almost all night.

"The people responsible for the attack on you and your family are in custody, and we have enough evidence to send them to prison for a long time."

Lexie almost drops the phone in shock. "What? Really?" She asks in disbelief.

"Yes. They were caught at a protest at a drug company in California." The detective informs her.

"Thank you." Lexie says ecstatically.

They exchange farewells before Lexie hangs up.

Once she put the phone back on its hook, Lexie sits down at the table before she falls down.

At that moment, Meredith comes down the stairs, and upon seeing her sister crying at the table, she asks. "What's wrong Lexie? Are you alright?"

Lexie looks up at Meredith, wiping the tears from her eyes as she does so. "I'm fine."

"Why are you crying?"

Lexie pauses for a moment, not sure what effect this will have on Meredith. "The police just called ...They caught the protestors, the ones who planted the explosives."

Upon hearing this Meredith too sits down at the table, overjoyed, but shocked.

* * *

Two days later, Izzie moves into the house. Her transition from hospital to home is far from easy though, for the first few days, she doesn't leave her room, she just sits in there crying, that only changes when eventually she has to go to the hospital for a rehab session.

Lexie helps Izzie and Meredith into the van that she hired, with disabled access to use until she buys one, she then loads the kids into their seats before starting the van, and driving away.

* * *

The small group arrives at the hospital's rehab centre twenty minutes later, and Izzie and Meredith's therapists quickly come over to meet them. Within a minute, they are off with their therapists, working hard, while Lexie settles into her seat at the edge of the gym.

She watches as Izzie tries, and not surprisingly fails to stand up, even with the support of the parallel bars.

She watches as Meredith goes through a series of hard, muscle strengthening exercises.

Basically for two hours she watches her sister, and her sister's friend go through hell.

* * *

Just over a week later, the twins' six month birthday rolls around. Lexie has planned a big party, and early in the morning, she goes into Meredith's room, carrying both the babies. Meredith is lying in her bed, and Lexie greets her by saying. "Morning Mere."

Meredith yawns, and then tiredly pulls herself into an upright position. "Morning Lexie." She holds her arms out to take her children, and Lexie gives them over to her. "Happy birthday, kids. I love you."

* * *

The guests start arriving at ten am, Meredith, Lexie, and despite her hesitance, Izzie too, greet everyone. Just as Meredith is slicing into the large cake Izzie has baked, the phone rings, Meredith almost doesn't answer it, but something tells her she should.

* * *

A minute later, Meredith comes back outside, a shocked look across her face. Christina moves quickly to her person's side. "Are you alright Mere?"

Meredith nods silently.

"Who was on the phone?" Christina enquires, wondering what has made Meredith practically catatonic.

At that moment, Meredith's no longer able to support herself, and almost falls. Luckily Mark and Christina catch her as she comes very close to hitting the ground.

They help her over to a chair, and wait for almost five minutes before she finally says. "They found Alex's family. His mom's flying in to turn off the life support."

Everyone exchanges shocked looks. Lexie bursts into tears.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**That's almost the end of this fic guys, just one more chapter, and then the epliogue to go.**

**Please review! Tell me ****what you think, and what you want to see next. It helps me write a lot faster.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**Thank you to those wonderful few of you who actually reviewed. I really appreciate it, so please keep them coming. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Needless to say, the party is over. Everyone from the hospital, who is at the party quickly get in their cars, and drive towards Seattle Grace.

* * *

Lexie, Meredith, Izzie, and the twins arrive at the hospital first, closely followed by Richard and Adele, and Mark and Addison. When they reach Alex's room, they see a middle aged woman, with bleached blonde hair, and clothes that would look ridicules, even on someone half her age, arguing with the head nurse. They quite clearly can hear her say. "Why can't you just do this now? I've got places to be."

They are all understandably horrified, how can someone care so little about their child's life.

Mark leans over, and whispers to Addison. "I suddenly have a whole new level of sympathy for Karev."

"Now I know what he meant about having a bad childhood." Addison remarks, also in a hushed tone.

* * *

It is over three hours later when everyone has said their goodbyes, whilst trying to block out Alex's mother's constant loud mouthed remarks.

Meredith, Lexie, Izzie, Christina, Richard, and Bailey crowd into the room, along with Alex's mother as an unknown intensive care doctor prepares to shut down the life support.

Eventually the doctor turns around, and asks. "Is everyone ready?"

Alex's mother scoffs, and quickly retorts. "I was ready FOUR hours ago, can you just do this already?"

Everyone else in the room shoots her a disgusted look, and then Meredith takes Lexie's hand in her as she says. "Okay."

The doctor methodically works to turn off each machine.

Within a minute all the monitors show that he has died, he is at rest, at last.

* * *

Alex's funeral is held two days later. Lexie and Meredith have worked together to arrange a simple, but fitting service. Alex's dear mother had left barely minutes after the life support had been stopped, refusing to have any involvement in the funeral, whatsoever.

They've called on Bailey to do the eulogy, they would've done it themselves, but they know that neither of them will get through it.

They've done everything they need to so that Alex can be buried at the memorial, where they have decided to hold a graveside funeral. He wouldn't have wanted the church with the hundreds of people there who would've barely recognized him if they passed him in the street.

They've chosen a few flower arrangements, but nothing too over the top.

And after a lot of hunting and indecision, they've found a photo of Alex, to place beside the coffin during the funeral.

At three pm sharp everyone starts to arrive, close friends only, all dressed in black. They each take turns to see Alex's body, say those meaningless words that are expected at funerals.

* * *

After half an hour, everyone is seated, and Bailey takes her place beside the coffin. She hesitates for a minute, looking at the open coffin of her former intern, a man she had seen grow from an arrogant know it all, to an excellent surgeon with so much potential.

Wiping away a tear Bailey begins. "Alex Karev was ...I could just follow the script, and say he was a great man, perfect, but honestly, that would be a disservice to his memory." She pauses for a moment. "Alex came from an abusive, uncaring home, and when he came to Seattle Grace, his style reflected that."

A few people look at Bailey questioningly, but she ignores it, and continues.

"Karev was my intern for three years, and in that time, I thought him and everyone else in his group would drive me insane. He asked all the stupid questions, made all the mistakes..."

At this point more than a few people are unsure of where this is going, but at the same time, they all agree with what she's saying.

"But by asking those questions, and making those mistakes, he was on his way to being an excellent surgeon. I couldn't have been more proud of him if I tried." Her voice lowers, and they struggle to hear as she says. "I should have told him that, he should have known what he really meant to us all." Then, speaking at a normal volume again, she finishes by saying. "Alex Karev wasn't perfect, he didn't try to be. But in the time I have known him, he was well on his was to becoming a great man. He was taken too soon."

Bailey walks away from the coffin, and as she goes back to her seat, she can see that everyone there either is or is on the verge of crying.

Several more people take turns to say a few words about Alex, before the coffin is lowered into the ground.

* * *

The trial rolls around several weeks later, and everyone is there as the jury foreman reads the verdict. "On the three charges of murder in the first degree, we find the defendants..."

They all hold their breath.

"Guilty."

There is a collective sigh of relief, and it only gets better with each saying of that wonderful word 'Guilty'.

* * *

The next morning the court is back in session, and the judge has made his decision on each of the protestors' sentences. And an hour later, what all the talking equates to is – Leaders of the group each get life sentences, possibility of parole in twenty five years. The four people who actually placed the explosives each get twenty year sentences, possibility of parole in fifteen years.

* * *

Despite the early hour, Joe's Bar quickly becomes packed with people celebrating the outcome of the trial, and stays that way until late into the night.

* * *

Six months later, the twins celebrate their first birthday.

Lexie seizes the opportunity to show that they are moving on by inviting her boyfriend, David Moore. He's an army lieutenant that served with Molly's husband, Eric. She had met him several months earlier at a barbeque hosted by Molly and Eric. And although at first Lexie was hesitant to start a new relationship, David has been good for her.

The only major drawback Lexie can see, and one that she almost left David because of is dating someone in the army ...they are going to be away for months at a time, and when he leaves, Lexie knows that she may never see him again. And she is not sure she can go through losing someone close to her again.

But still, she leads him over to where her family is sitting, and within a minute, he is a part of the family.

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**That's almost the end of this fic guys, just the epliogue to go.**

**I'll post the epilogue when I've gotten at least 5 reviews. I'm not trying to make my readers angry, but I know you're reading this fic, so please leave a review.**


	9. Chapter 9

****

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.**

**Thank you to those of you who actually reviewed. I really appreciate it. **

**So, here we are at the end of another story, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it.**

* * *

**Epilogue**

Fifteen years later

Susanna Grey-Shepherd leisurely climbs out of her large poster bed, takes her hot pink dressing gown off its hook, and pulls it on before walking gracefully down the hallway, passing her brother's room, then her cousin's before stepping down the stairs to where her mother and aunts are busily cooking what she assumes to be breakfast. When she reaches her mother's side, Susie happily embraces her.

Meredith returns the hug warmly. "Good morning darling, happy sweet sixteenth."

Susie steps back, but only slightly. "Morning Mommy." She then takes the opportunity to hug her Aunt Lexie and Aunt Izzie. "Morning guys."

"Happy birthday baby." Izzie says, leaning forward in her wheelchair so that her niece can hug her.

Lexie then excitedly steps forward, and takes her turn to embrace her niece. "Happy birthday Suse."

At this moment, Lexie and her husband Patrick's six year old daughter Kaitlin comes bounding into the kitchen, and Lexie releases her hold on Susanna so she can pick her daughter up. "Hey baby girl." She then hands Kaitlin over to Susanna. "Say happy birthday to Susie, Katie."

In a very childish voice, Kaitlin says. "Happy Birthday Suey." She hasn't yet gotten the hang of saying Susie, just Suey.

* * *

Derek Grey-Shepherd starts his morning very differently. His head is pounding, but he doesn't regret the half a bottle of vodka he downed the night before, at least he feels something. He falls out of his bed, which though he would never admit it needs replacing, badly. And then he digs through a pile of clothes which he no longer has any idea whether they are clean, or not until he finds a black tattered band shirt and a pair of well worn dark jeans, and pulls them on before trudging out to the kitchen where everyone is now gathered, eating freshly baked muffins and pancakes. They each greet him, wish him happy birthday, but he ignores them as he goes over to the medicine cabinet, pulls out a bottle of antidepressants, and swallows two.

As he then tries to grab a muffin from the table, Meredith grabs his hand, and turns around in her chair. "Derek Joseph, stop." She stands up, and uses her chair to help her balance. "Answer me and your aunts when we speak to you."

"Whatever." DJ replies nonchalantly as he makes another grab for a muffin.

Meredith slaps his hand away. "Don't you dare use that tone with me. If you want breakfast, you have to sit here with us, and talk."

DJ pulls his hand out of her grip, nearly causing her to fall, but not caring as he storms out of the kitchen.

A few seconds later they hear his bedroom door slam.

Susie helps her mom sit back down, and they finish breakfast in awkward silence. They are all upset by DJ's behavior, ever since he hit puberty, he's been spiraling further and further out of control.

* * *

Later that morning, everyone starts to arrive for the twins' birthday party, there are friends from their school, all their aunts and uncles. Several minutes into the party, Susie makes her entrance, dressed in a figure hugging retro sun dress, her long dark blonde hair loosely curled and bouncing off her shoulders. She jogs over to where her friends are standing around. "Hey guys."

They all hug her, and wish her a happy birthday in turn.

* * *

Eventually Meredith can't cover for DJ any more, and honestly doesn't want to, so she climbs up the staircase, and as soon as she reaches the top of the stairs, Meredith is assaulted by the pounding of heavy metal music coming from her son's room.

Undeterred, she goes to the door, and knocks, no reply, not surprising. Meredith grabs her keys out of her pocket, and unlocks the door, swinging it wide open.

Meredith gasps in shock when she sees DJ sitting on the floor, cutting at his wrists, tears running down his face. "Derek..." She whispers.

DJ looks up upon hearing her voice, pulling his sleeve down quickly, and hiding the blade under his bed in the vague hope that Meredith hadn't seen anything. "Mom."

Meredith wordlessly sits down on the floor beside him, even though she knows it will be almost impossible to stand up.

* * *

After sitting in silence for almost thirty minutes, Meredith asks. "Why?" She pauses, and then with tears in her eyes, continues. "I did the best I could raising you and Susie, why are you doing this?"

"Just leave me alone Mom." DJ says, his voice rough from crying.

Meredith just sits there beside DJ for close to another hour before-

"Dad."

Meredith is too lost in her thoughts to hear what he says. "What?"

DJ takes a shaky breath before saying. "Why don't we have a dad? No one ever talks about him, and, I dunno... sometimes ...I need a dad."

"Oh baby." Meredith murmurs as she pulls DJ into a hug, and holds him as they both start crying.

* * *

Several minutes later, they both calm down, and Meredith says. "DJ, can you help me up? There's something I need to show you, and your sister."

DJ nods, and wordlessly helps Meredith stand, then follows her out of the house, and over to where Susie is still gossiping with her friends.

Meredith clears her throat to get Susie's attention. "Honey. Can you come with us for a minute?"

Susie looks slightly surprised, but agrees. "Okay Mom."

Meredith leads her kids down the driveway, and then down a smaller road, which they haven't been down in living memory. They ask questions, but Meredith remains silent as they enter a large circular garden, these days the headstones are less obvious as the plants have grown around them, but they still can see all three.

"Mom? What is this place?" Susie asks uncertainly, a far cry from her usual perky self.

Wordlessly Meredith walks over to Derek's grave, sits down on the bench, and motions for the kids to join her, which they do hesitantly.

They read the engraving. "Dad?" They ask almost simultaneously.

Meredith ignores their questions as she starts to tell them a story. "When I was in my fourth year of residency, me and Derek, your father worked together on a clinical trial. When I was seven months pregnant, we were asleep at my house, in Queen Anne Park, Derek had moved a couple of months ago..." Meredith has to blink back tears as she says. "There was a protest group, they set explosives in the foundations, they triggered them in the middle of the night."

Susie and DJ start to piece together this information, but before they can say anything, Meredith continues.

"Your father, and two of my best friends, Alex and George died. It was ...it was a really bad time for us."

"Why didn't you tell us?" DJ questions, feeling betrayed, and angry that he's been lied to for so long.

After a moment's hesitation, Meredith replies. "I didn't want you two to grow up knowing how bad the world can be. I'm sorry, I thought it was for the best."

They both move closer, and allow their mother to pull them into a comforting embrace.

Life is far from perfect, but at least they are in this together.

* * *

**The End. ****Thanks for reading!**

**I hope the ending isn't as weak as I think it is. Please leave one last review.**


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